I like to keep this blog pretty honest. On all of my social media, I’m pretty open in terms of my thoughts and feelings; and I believe this blog gives me more characters to do so. I’m human. I can be negative, positive, outspoken, private, angry, proud, and every other emotion. I can’t hide that and I won’t. Every day, I get asked “how are you” and my reply is the same. It’s a word that falls off my tongue automatically– “good.” Why would I bother to tell people what’s really going on? No one does that. Some of us may actually be good, but for many of us that is a lie.
I’m currently in my third year of higher-ed and I’ve truly loved it. I can not say the same about this semester. I’ve probably had more emotional breakdowns than the legal limit. I’m at a point where I’m not interested. I feel discouraged and I know I’m not alone in that.
Overwhelmed and exhausted are the two words that have described me for the past several weeks. I’ve had projects and assignments back-to-back plus I work on the weekends. I miss having free time. I miss me. I get it, it’s college but I’ve never felt worse about myself.
Unfortunately, I scheduled classes simultaneously leaving me 3 minutes to eat a lunch, which I never get to do. I go through my day hungry (hangry, tbh) and tired. I don’t miss a class because I know if I do, I’ll be lost for the rest of the semester. That may just be anxiety. I can’t even sleep. I have the constant worry about not having an assignment done or forgetting something despite my best efforts to write everything down several times. All of this has made me sick. I’ve made myself sick.
Will I drop out? Absolutely not. I have career goals, but this semester has taught me so much about biting off more than you can chew.
I’ve given tips to incoming freshman via a thread on twitter because of course, I thought I knew everything. I know a lot, but I’m still learning A LOT. My hope is that not everyone will have this type of semester, but for those that do: KEEP GOING. I’ll tell you what I’m telling myself every day.
You came to college fo a reason. It isn’t going to be easy, but don’t let that discourage you. Put yourself first and let things fall where they may. Don’t lose yourself.